Bullet for my Valentine - Part II

Arpita a moment later realized that she had done a classic faux pas. But it was too late to mend things now. Awkward silence pervaded the usually jovial room . Mercifully, her phone rang . It was her boyfriend, he had come to pick her up. Avoiding eye contact with Arfa, she swiftly slipped out of the room.

Though such remarks were not new to her and she had developed a thick skin to them. But when they came from a person who had known her and her entire family for years, she just felt hollow. Hollowness is a stage, dear reader, when one moves beyond anger and sadness. 

She seemed lost. Staring blankly into her teacup which though still warm, now seemed to embody the coldness of Arpita's behavior. Perhaps Arfa thought that the tea leaves would answer the questions that Arpita had left unanswered. The questions that were simultaneously buzzing in the heads of many other Muslim students. Where did , We the people, go wrong? How and more importantly who had spread this poison in their minds.

She started to doubt even her memory.  Was the standing ovation that Ashfaq(Arfa's elder brother) and Aseem(Arpita's elder brother) Bhaiya got, a product of her fertile imagination, or the entire village really did celebrate their 200 run partnership ? Were those sunny afternoons real ? when she and Arpita used to leisurely lie down in Arfa's floral gardens and Arpita would swoon over the nazms that Ashfaq bhaiya would recite in his baritone voice. Just then the image became real, she could vividly see and hear in her mind her brother explaining Faiz to them. She could even pull off the entire nazm from the threads of her memory-

हम  कि  ठहरे  अजनबी   इतनी   मदारातों   के  बाद

फिर  बनेंगे आशना  कितनी  मुलाकातों  के  बाद

(We stand estranged, after so many hospitalities.

How many meetings will it take for us to get acquainted again.)

Her eyes became wet again. No! Faiz cannot be unreal. Her brother, his voice cannot be unreal.

Maybe what happened a few minutes ago was unreal. But sadly she could not seek solace in this phantasm. Ammi's phone call jolted her back to reality. She toughened up. She cannot be a sissy in front of her. It would amount to validating all that she and her brother had fought against. The orthodoxy of customs, the prejudices against 'the other'. NO !, She will never let her brother down. Wiping the warm tears, with the sleeves of her gifted dress, In the process smudging kohl over her red swollen cheeks. But she did not care, for the imminent issue was to ensure that Ammi did not panic.

After the salutary greetings, Ammi started to curse the godforsaken day she allowed her to go to Dehradun. Ammi narrated how other girls from Moradabad are returning and suggested so should she. Arfa's mother was a Kashmiri, she fell in love with Arfa's to-be-father who was a tourist visiting the fabled Shalimar gardens. This love story was not palatable to either of the families. Kashmiris did not want to give their daughter to non-Kashmiris, Barelvis had also betrothed their son to somebody. But what can mere mortals do when the spring of love has decided its direction. The couple eloped and eventually settled in Moradabad. The relationship between the two families never became warm, but somehow they forged a modus vivendi. Thus Arfa was as much a Kashmiri as Priyanka Gandhi is an Italian. Sorry, I digressed, but anyways now we know that the rebellious nature of Arfa and Ashfaq was genetic.

Arfa's mother was visibly distressed. She had seen the decade of the eighties and nineties in Kashmir. She knew what evil forms distrust and hatred can take. Like all mothers, she only wished well for her child.

Go to Chacha's house near ISBT and do not wear your hijab in public, Chacha ji would host you till the situation gets resolved, we have talked to him. This was the Frostian bargain that Arfa had stuck with her mother in lieu of not withdrawing her from college. However, there was another clause that Arfa's mother had discreetly introduced - Pay the maximum that you can to the 'bharatkeveer' portal and post this on all your social media accounts. Also, share posts that display solidarity with the Indian martyrs and the Indian state.

Arfa was confused. She would have done the above regardless of her mother's advice. Why is it that her mother is being so specific ?. Would Arpita's mother be doling out the same advice to her, she wondered. Thinking of Arpita, made her suddenly realize that it was already a quarter to five in the evening, and her own valentine day is ruined. Ankit was Arfa's first crush and eventual boyfriend. He was soft-spoken, non-impulsive, understanding. In short, everything that Arfa was not. There were more than twenty miscall from Ankit, while Arfa was talking to her Ammi. After hanging up Ammi, she immediately called back Ankit to apologize.

But what followed was something that she had not even imagined in her wildest dreams. He charged her of double dating. That she was busy with her Ammi was considered a plain lie by Ankit. Then came the worst form of character assassination, he cussed everything from her family to her religion, from her city to her graduation subject. His last words were- Bloody Traitor.

Arfa decided that she would not donate.

-To be continued.

Bullet for my Valentine - Part I

14 February  की सुबह थी । अरफ़ा और अर्पिता  चेह-चाचा रहीं थी । उस बंद पंछी की तरह जिसके अचानक खुला आसमान मिल गया हो । हो भी क्यों ना ?! । पिंजरा जो तोड़ा था उन्होंने - रूढ़िवादी और दकियानूसी सोच का । और ऊपर से सर्दियों की छुट्टी ख़तम होने के इतने रोज़ बाद जो वो आये थे अपने इस देहरादून के कॉलेज में । दोनों  का  ताल्लुख  मोरादाबाद  के एक  छोटे  से  कसबे  से  था, विद्यालयी  शिक्षा  दोनों  ने ही सरकारी  स्कूल  में  हासिल  की  थी । अर्पिता  की  पिता  एक  इमान्दार  सरकारी  मुलाज़िम  थे  इसलिए  अपनी  लड़की  को  कान्वेंट  में  न   पढ़ा  सके। तो  अरफ़ा   के    वालिद , हाफिज  साहेब  की  मज़ार  के  बहार  फूलों  का  छोटा  व्यवसाय  करते  थे ,जो  थोड़ा  बहुत भी  कमाते  थे  वो  बेगम  के शुगर  की  इलाज  में  चला  जाता था । 

अब  जैसा  की  अक्सर  यौवन  में  होता  है , गर्म  खून प्रायः   समाज  की  बेड़ियों  को  पिघलाने  का  भरसक  प्रयास  करता  है । इन  युवतियों  नें  भी  कुछ  ऐसा  ही  किया  था । सड़कछाप  मजनुओं , गायब  सरकारी  अध्यापकों  , तंज  कसने  वाले  रिश्तेदारों  की  बाधा  पार  करके बारहवीं पास की थी इन्होने । पर  एक  बाधा  नहीं  पार  कर  सकी वे , "entrance exam"  की  बाधा । शायद  इसलिए  कि  और समस्याओं   से  झूझते -झूझते  वे   पहले  ही  और  अभ्यर्थियों  से  पीछे  हो  गयीं  थी , और  ऊपर  से  अनारक्षित । या  शायद  इसलिए  कि  उन्होंने  खवाब  ही   नहीं  देखा  उतना  बड़ा । कुवें  का  मेंढक  कहाँ  ही   जानता  है , सावन  कि  रिमझिम  में  टर -टर  करने  का  आनंद ,उससे  तो  बस  दम  घोटने  वाली स्याह  दीवारों  से  ही  निजात  चाइये ।

But the girls did get their "Apna Time Aaega" moment. When their respective brothers, much to the exasperation of their families, decided to support their further education. Thanks to patriarchy(witty ?! :P), Arfa got fashion designing and Arpita got a Nursing course. The fact that they initially had wanted mechanical and civil engineering did not cause much heartburn. नंगा  नहायेगा  क्या  और  निचोड़े  गए  क्या ?

किशोरावस्था  और  नग्न -अवस्था  का  वैसे  भी  चोली  दमन  का  साथ  है । देहरादून  में  दाखिला  लेने  की  बाद   दोनों  कुमारियों  को  पहली  बार  "अपने  आप" को  जानने  का  मौका  मिला । उन्हें  यह  अहसास  हुआ  कि  उनके  अंदर  सिर्फ  एक  बेटी   और  एक  बेहेन  का  किरदार  ही  नहीं  अपितु  एक  भाग्यश्री  का  भी  वास  है ।

फिर  क्या  था , जैसे  महकते   पुष्प  की  गंद  भवरों के समूह  को  अपनी  ओर  खींचती  है , और  पवन  के  वेग  में  कुमुदिनी जैसे  इठलाती  है  । उसी  तरह , देहरादून  की  फ़िज़ा  उनके  यौवन  की  महक  से  पटी सी  लगती  थी । शनैः शनैः , उन्हें  वो  भ्रमर मिल  गया  जिसे  वो  अपने  पराग -कण  के  योग्य  समझती  थी ।

 14 February  वो  दिन  है  जब  युगलों  की  मोहबत्त  अपने  पुरे  शबाब  पर  रहती  है । हमारी  कहानी के  ये  दो  किरदार  भी  कहाँ  पीछे  रहने  वाले  थे । PG  के  कमरे  में  बैठे  RedFM के  गाने  सुनते  हुए  वो  दोनों  nail paint के  उपयुक्त  रंग  को  लेकर  गहरी  मंत्रणा  कर  रहीं  थी । पोषाक  तो  उनके  भवरों   नें  gift  कर   ही  दी  थी , शाम  को  EVOC Entertainment की  DJ party  में  entry का  जुगाड़  भी  हो  ही  गया  था ।"O Ladki ,Aakh maare !" की  धुन  पर   ठुमके  लगाने  की  प्रैक्टिस  उन्होंने  अपने  पुरे  सेमेस्टर  में  किये  गए  प्रश्नो  से  ज्यादा  बार  कर  ली  थी । इसलिए  जैसे  ही  FM पर  यह  गाना  बजा , दोनों  का  शरीर  एकाएक  सुनियोजोइत  तरीके  से  थिरकने  लगा ।

नृत्य की थकान से उबरने की लिए दोनों बिस्तर पर आलू की बोरी के सामान गिरी , पलभर बाद ही दोनों खी खी कर खीसें पोरने लगीं । 

मानो  अपनी  चुलबुलता  पर  कोई  नवजात  खुद  ही  आत्म-मुग्ध  हो  रहा हो ।

12 बज  चुके  थे , 4 बजे  तक  उन्हें  अपने  गंतव्य  पर  पहुंचना  था । समय  की  अल्पता  का  ज्ञान , मनुज  की  कार्य  गति  और  दक्षता  को  सानुपातिक  रूप  से  बड़ा  देता  है  । Nail paint लग  गया  था, Maybelline का  मस्कारा  और  Gucci की सैंडल बाहर निकल  गए  थे ।ये बात और है कि ये दोनों ही First Copy थे । पर  सबसे  चुनौतीपूर्ण  कार्य  अभी  बाकि  था -Waxing। अरफ़ा  को  waxing पसंद  नहीं  थी । मूलतः  इसलिए  कि  अर्पिता  को  waxing करने  का  सही  ढंग  नहीं  आता  था ,जिसकी  वजह  से  अरफ़ा  को  हर  बार  बहुत  कष्ट  से  गुजरना  पड़ता  था  । दूसरा  इसलिए  भी  कि  उससे  "Abaya"  और  "Hijab " पहनना   अच्छा  लगता  था , जिसमे  वैसे  भी  वो  दुनिया  को  उसकी  waxing के  दौरान  दिखाई  गयी सहनशीलता   का  प्रमाण  नहीं  दिखा  सकती । पर  आज  कुछ  खास  था । आज  तो  वे  दोनों  Brazilian Waxing की  बारे  में  भी  विचार कर रहे थे ।

अन्ततः  जैसा कि आज सब जगह हो रहा  है, Logic and reason gave way to passions and emotions ।

अरफ़ा  नें  अपने  आप  को  अर्पिता  के   सिपुर्द कर  दिया । Her desire for external confirmation of her beauty perhaps gave her the will to overpower her fear of pain। जैसे  जैसे  गरम  मोम कि  परत  अरफ़ा  के  बदन  पर  फैली  और  फिर  उतरी  ,उसके  चहरे   की  भाव  -भंगिमाएं  भी  बदलती  रही ।।मन - ही -मन  बुदबुदा  रही  थी  शायद , सुंदरता  का   ये  क्या  पैमाना  है  ?!। इस हिसाब  से  तो  मोरिनि  ज्यादा  खूबसूरत  होनी  चाइये  एक  मोर  से ।इस  तरह  के  विचार  और   FM पे  मधुर  गीत  ही  इस  दर्द  से  डूबते  हुए  का  सहारा  थे । पर नियति  भी  बहुत  निष्ठुर  होती  है , जब  अपनी  पर  आती  है  तो  तिनका  तक  छीन  लेती  है ।

गाने  थम  गए  और उसकी जगह  एक  भारी ,गंभीर  आवाज़  नें  ले  ली  , FM से  खबर  सुनाई  दी  कि  Pulwama  में  आतंकियों  नें  सबसे   बड़ी  वारदात  को  अंजाम  दिया  है , 40 CRPF के  सिपाही  हमले  में  शहीद  हो  चुके  हैं ।

अर्पिता  नें  जोर  से  मोम  कि   परत  नोचते  हुए  ,बिना  चेहरे  पर  शिकन  लाये  बोला , ये  साले  सारे  मुल्ले  ऐसे  ही  होते  हैं , जिस  थाली  में  खाते  हैं  उसी  में  छेद  करते  हैं । सब  porkistan ही  चले  जाओ  ना  !

अरफ़ा  करहाई  , उसकी  आंखे  नम  थी ,पता  नहीं  उससे  किस  चीज़  से  ज्यादा  दर्द  हुआ  था  waxing से  या  अपनी  सहेली  के  शब्द बाण  से ।

-To be continued.